yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
