I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
