It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
