just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
