I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
