Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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