Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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