if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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