My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
