But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
