maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
