What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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