I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
