I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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