I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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