i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i already hear my dad disowning me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
