I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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