i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
