TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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