I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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