my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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