i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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