and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
