it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
