Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
