i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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