We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
