I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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