vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
