So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
