He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
