your parents love me but you hate me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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