More tranny stories later!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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