Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
