You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
