yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
