Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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