dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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