THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
