What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We need to get me chipped asap
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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