Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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