i wish my penis had a tongue
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
