I just threw up on my dentist
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
