Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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