Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
