just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All the doctor said was why
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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