so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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