I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
