just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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