Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
