Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
