Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
