Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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